I guess this is another call for me to blog again. Actually, coming to think of it, the reason why I took ownership of a blog in the first place was because I had the interest to write things about myself. I admit that I love to write, be it essays or poems. I used to compose short stories and poems in the past but I've not done so for many years. I think my passion for a lot of things has subsequently receded. I totally dislike my current self as I think I've begun to lose all my passion and even goals. No more goal-driven, passion-instilled me. The current me is just some alcoholic trash. I know that I've disappointed many, even as I'm typing this post, I know who I'm disappointing. I really wish to end all this but I've got to find a solution first and although encouragement is given, I don't seem to respond to it much. I've just become this despondent and rebellious teenager who is creating an increasingly strained relationship with her parents and friends. Ok, I guess this is enough of my ranting, shall proceed on to other events. Wednesday (11th June) and Thursday (12th June) were the 2 days comprising of our NUSIS events. Pistol Men and Women events were on Wednesday while Brenda, Trendy and Wendy's event was on Thursday morning, followed by the Rifle Men and Women events. Our Pistol Men and Women didn't perform up to their usual standards on Wednesday and sad to say our Rifle Men and Women as well, with the exception of Henry and Shuqi achieving their Personal Best (PB) during NUSIS. Well done Henry and Shuqi! Actually, I believe the main reason why most of us did not perform up to expectation (our own expectations) was due to us not being able to relax and focus on the basics during a shoot, for example, stability and correct actions etc. The majority of us, I believe, chose to focus on our results instead, which is a tendency as well as a liability. I've learnt that most of the time when you really desire something badly, you never seem to be able to get what you desire. This NUSIS really proved my point. I really desired to achieve my PB during the shoot but unfortunately, not only did I not achieve my PB, i scored 13 points below my current PB. 13 points is really a huge blow to me, as that would have meant extremely poor performance. I don't know why I couldn't see the target half the time I was shooting yesterday. Be it psychological or physical reasons, I guess it doesn't matter now. The only fact I'm concerned with is whether my drinking the night before my shoot affected my performance because if my poor focussing was due to that reason, I will be feeling extremely guilty. I think it's time for me to quit drinking because through tuition I've confirmed the fact that alcohol damages brain cells (I took really long to do simple subtraction and addition) and alcohol may have affected my shooting performance. I must vouch to cease going to bars or even touching a drop of alcohol at least until after A' levels =x Anyway, I hope Mr Ng isn't too disappointed with my results because I'm determined to shine during Nationals and my will is so strong now that I think even a tsunami won't crash it down haha. "Let go and Let God" I think I need to do this now. I've been out of touch with God for quite long and I need to let Jesus back into my life to turn everything around. Yesterday's post NUSIS "celebration" at Swensens was our usual dinner plus Earthquake but I didn't seem to enjoy it as much as our post NTU shoot celebration, partly because of my results and other factors as well. Everything is changing and I don't really welcome the change. Anyway, after Swensens a couple of us headed down to Clark Quay to take pictures with melia's new Canon SLR and to chat as well. Our initial plan wasn't to drink, but having 3 influential alcoholics, 2 with money but 1 with budget, we entered Hooters to suit the one with budget haha. Well, sad to say our experience at Hooters wasn't all that pleasant as service was atrocious. They really turn a blind eye to students. Like so what if we're students? I think we ordered more than other patrons! Anyway, LQ wanted a Whiskey Housepour and they were having this promotion- 2 Housepours and 3rd one free. That sounded enticing enough, plus the fact that it was the cheapest alcoholic breverage of $10 per glass? The result wasn't satisfying though, as the Whiskey was diluted so it was tantamount to drinking plain water? I drank only half my Whiskey than gave it all to LQ as he was showing a lot of dissatisfaction with his drink haha. Initially I ordered a 'Hooters Island Tea' but because of the Whiskey i cancelled my order so I shared the Island Tea with melia. I had to conclude that the Island Tea was most satisfying as there was a heavier dosage of liqour haha. After our drink, all of us needed to catch the last train home so we waved frantically at the hostess' for our bill. However, we were totally ignored so we proceeded to the front at the cashier. We waited quite a while before someone atteneded to us and believe me, if we had walked out of the door, no one would have noticed but we were good citizens so we still payed for our drinks. After paying the bill, we rushed to the MRT station to catch the last train home. It was 6 min to the arrival of the last train so all of us dashed like never before! Lennon challenged us by saying whoever is last is a pig haha. He and Brenda rushed down, competing with each other for first place. Last was Henry because he was a gentleman and let melia go first haha. In the end, we arrived 2 min before the train came and all of us heaved sighs of relief. All of us than alighted at our respective train stops and we bid one another goodbye. I guess that would be my last outing as I'm officially grounded due to reaching home late (12.10 is the definition of late for my parents). I guess that will be all for now and no more posts until further major events. I would like to thank melia for all her support and encouragement for my shoot as well as all others who did encourage and wish me for my shoot. I believe all of us have learnt valuable lessons during NUSIS and we will be able to apply what we've learnt to Nationals, which is our ultimate battle. Fight hard and fight well but most importantly enjoy shooting and never lose sight of this important fact. Shooters huat ah!