As reality slowly kicks in, I really feel like reverting back to my old depressed self. Maybe I may appear smiley on the outside, but believe me, that's all just a facade to conceal the hollow inner being, eager to cry out loud. Suddenly feel that certain things are not how I imagined them to be and the seemingly perpetual moments of bliss are all but just bubbles that burst at any point in time. Pondering on my despondency triggered memories of exultant times spent in Cedar, as well as during the first 3 months spent in SR. Truly pine for the familiar and heart-warming sea of blue, as well as all those dear friends and squadmates. Miss having the national anthem at the courtyard, posing for squad photos at the podium, standing at attention to the flags being raised at the flag raising area, checking the time on our beloved clock tower, singing our school song daily, cheering our lungs out at whatever occasion permits, doing footdrill and unbelievably so, jogging sessions! Although most of us dreaded those jogging sessions held twice a week, to the extent that some of us prayed for rain (I'm guilty of that!), sang "Rain Rain Come Again..." and most familiarly, cheering whenever the teacher announced that jogging sessions were cancelled due to bad weather! More importantly, 4P is not to be excluded from my "Miss List". Reminisce the times when our class was so united and so hyper and high! Our class team spirit which could be displayed in various ways such as the unforgettable first place for sports day relay trial, although on the actual day we didn't win, it was already a fantastic job done! The lazy bones who refused to do duty, leading to the incessant naggings of our teachers! 4P's overwhelming Chinese New Year spectacle which was a blast. Last but not the least, our nuturing teachers who really have been leading us by hand and walking us through our 4 years in Cedar. Mr Yau's story-telling and witty humour, together with his ever so encouraging motivational speeches. Ms Sim's nagging to get our Chemistry concepts correct and homework done (guilty party!). Mdm Faridah's profound english and sarcastic remarks (Oops!). Mrs Lim's life stories and national education talks...remember Ayam brand sardines? haha. Mrs Chew's strict reinforcements on our math formulaes and workings. Mdm Lum's badgering, cute outfits (remember the cherry or is it strawberry printed blouse?), "perfect english pronunciations "(oops!)..."4P, now I'm going to fresh (flash) the answers...". All these events certainly bring back fond memories, however, dwelling on the happy past only incurs melancholy. How ironic can life be? First 3 months spent in SR was also incredible. Started out with only accquaintances, slowly turning to profound friendships. Miss the times spent with 1S23, our lunches at Kovan, our breakfasts at Macs, our breaks at the canteen! Dearly miss our "clique", initially comprising of myself, Amanda, Si Min and Shi Qi...the four of us patronising the Cafe during each break, so much so until the Cafe Aunty recognises us! After Amanda's withdrawal from SR, it was down to the 3 of us, subsequently with the addition of Xin Yi, Wei Zhi and occasionally Parames. No more Amanda to talk to regarding shooting stuff, no more Amanda to attend shooting trainings with. Imagine my loneliness! However, just as our 1S23 bonds were strengthened increasingly, those "forces of attraction"(chemistry. ahha) had to be forced apart. The begining of 2nd intake alerted the brutal truth of separation. This week would be the final time I can don the smart-looking cedar uniform. With the disrobing of the uniform comes along the identity and other issues related to Cedar which I have to cast aside as well. However much I yearn for Cedar, there will come a point in time when all these pinings have to be neglected and I must advance with the changing times. Although many things will be missed terribly, I will eventually have to bravely forsake them all. "To Cedar Girls' School we belong, with pride and love lets sing this song. Let us unite and together vow, to dedicate our loyalty now".