Felt extremely depressed today, mostly due to not having a belt. Fortunately, I managed to get a belt in the end, if not you might catch me with a very black face with red eyes? Maybe not red eyes, if you get what I mean. I think I cannot deny the fact that I'm an extremely irresponsible person. The evidence would be the fact that I realised I didn't have a belt only at 11 plus at night, the night before I actually needed it. My father was chiding me about my irresponsibility and 'at the eleventh hour' actions, which I can't help but agree with him (notice I only realised at eleven plus...at the eleventh hour...connects huh? haha). Okay, so I'm truly sorry for spreading my unhappiness to other people today. Couldn't help it you know? I think I also screwed my POP today when I suddenly had a nervous breakdown and forgot the order of 'barang' (short form). Worse still, I jumped! How horrible can I get right? Vaish said I was dancing? Erm, that comment might be a little too far-fetched. Anyway, besides feeling depressed I guess I didn't experience any other emotions. Same old zombified me- not sad, not happy...emotionless.By the way, I have just learnt that people can actually have two sides to a face, as in they are double-edged swords-treating a person nicely but talking behind that same person's back simultaneously. Little did I expect someone whom I regard as a dear friend to treat me this way and initially I didn't quite believe it until I sort of witnessed her actions for myself. However, even after that I still forgave her and pretended as if nothing like that had ever happened and I continued to regard her as a good friend. Unfortunately feigning ignorance isn't such a bliss and what she said today about me but not infront of me really impacted my mood which led me to further depression? Worse still, that same dear friend of mine made my other friend cry and also become depressed? Fortunately for me, I don't cry that easily so I didn't shed a tear today. Even if I were to shed tears, it wouldn't be for unworthy causes such as broken friendships. I can safely say that I am now immune to this kind of horrible cases of friendships as I am currently experiencing bad friendship situations almost every day. Maybe I shall not become a loner but instead all these bad experiences have caused me not to place my trust in friendships, as the more you trust, the more you get betrayed, the more you get involved, the deeper the hurt.