At this point of time, I really think I am a total failure. I really question myself as to why I'm living such a meaningless and depressing life. Life is full of ups and downs, never a bed of roses. I think I'm really a failure because this is only the begining of the many setbacks in life and I'm having difficulty handling it. Really feel like giving up on myself, my life, my everything. To me, at this present moment, my future really looks bleak- extremely hopeless. It really isn't easy trying to pick myself up at this point because I'm really exhausted and I lack that drive to keep myself going. Even superheroes get tired sometimes and moreover, I'm no superhero. However efficient a machine is, it would still break down one day, what more an ordinary human being like me? However, I know that there is always someone or people out there who have more troubles than me, thus, I should not have the right to complain because as compared to them, my problems are but as small as a mustard seed. ***************************************************************************
Friendships are also tiring I feel. Perhaps I should seriously consider being a loner. Without friends, there wouldn't be friendship problems. I seriously think I'm not up to handling friendship problems at all. I may seem cool about it but deep inside, my heart is shattering to pieces. Those who look strong on the outside are usually those who are actually very weak on the inside. Whenever I have a friendship problem, I always seem unbothered about it. People may think that I do not care about that particular friendship at all but they're wrong. I'm only afraid that if I confront the person it will end up worse, which in most cases it really does. Sorting things out usually ends up with both parties feeling even more bitter towards each other for my case. I'm really a failure in every aspect.Someone (can't mention who because didn't get her permission) ever told me that if I were to become a loner I am being selfish because I did not consider my friends' feelings while making the decision. I feel that all humans are selfish, it is only the minority that are able to control those selfish desires of theirs for the benefits of others. I am no exception. However, I am really constantly tempted by the idea of giving up my frienships and sinking into solitude. To me, that is one of the ways to relieve a part of my burden.